Too many of us aren’t honest with our yes and no’s. We have too many maybes, and in doing so, we don’t honor what our body is telling us. In the end, we end up sacrificing ourselves or being dishonest with others in what we need or want.
The stem of this is from people pleasing, trying to make sure everyone is happy with us so we “don’t get kicked out of the tribe.” aka kicked out of our basic needs being met.
When we leave childhood, this turns ugly; we build resentment, and we can expect others to read our minds or body language instead of being honest with our words.
It's Time For Only Fuck Yes and Fuck No: There are No Fuck Maybe's
I hear you. This is an intense statement. It was the first time I heard it from one of my teachers, Chelsie Diane. But it hit hard with me.
I wasn’t being honest with my yes and nos. And it cost me dearly.
I’ve learned I’m an “I need time” before I have a solid yes or no. So instead of rushing to an answer that doesn’t feel good, I ask for a moment alone or without more questions to come to my solid solution.
With a friend or partner, begin with this statement. Speaking it out loud and nodding your head in agreement
- For the next 5 minutes, I agree to be as honest with you as possible
- I agree to hold safety in my body
- I agree to hold a safe space for you
Then go back and forth, one question each, one solid answer each (which can be, let me hold that for a moment, give yourself a pause, then answer. While the other partner waits in silence.)
Try asking these questions first, and then feel free to go off-script with your own. Keep it light-hearted and playful. DO NOT dive into deeply rooted things in this first time practicing.
We are building trust in your ability to answer with a yes or no. These are meant to be silly on purpose so you can practice.
- Will you let me wear your socks?
- Can I touch your nose?
- Do I have food in my teeth?
- Can I have your car?
- Do you know my phone number by heart?
- Do you like hugs where our bellies touch?
- Do you like our feet to cuddle?
- Do you like tacos?
- Do you like rain?
- Are you hungry?
Feel free to go off-script now!
Return to this practice to deepen your ability to easily say yes and no and trust your gut. Your body never lies. 😉