Self care as a mom can feel like an oxymoron sometimes. But what if every day, you viewed life as filling your bucket full so that you have more to give instead of giving and taking what little is left for yourself?
Hey mama, I’m Lumalia, yoga teacher and connection architect at Celebrate Again, on a mission to help you step out of surviving and into thriving. I’ve been down this path of pouring out my own energy with no self care until one day I was literally forced to take care of myself over my daughter when I was faced with some frightening health issues. For more of my story and this conversation jump down to the self care as a mom video.
How to Take Care of Yourself As A Mom
“I just feel angry/sad/disconnected all the time and I don’t know why.” This is what one of my dear friends had to say recently when we met together at a park. We’ve known each other since elementary school and have had our paths cross many times so sweetly in life. We were walking around, just the two of us, a rare treat for us both as mamas with young kids and she kept saying to me “I don’t know why, but I keep getting so angry with the kids and just lose it.” If you knew my friend, you’d think she of all people would be the last one to ever do anything out of rage, but I certainly understood and had been there myself.
As we talked further, I asked her, “Do you do anything just for yourself, outside of being a mama and caring for other people?”
Maybe you can guess her answer: it was No! I mean, unless you count going the grocery store alone…
Acknowledge Motherhood Is Hard
When we got into why my friend doesn’t choose to take time for herself, it was really because she had a colicky oldest and some very real challenges that made her children very dependent on her alone. It was very challenging for her husband or anyone else to be able to take over even for an hour. So over the years her only solace became grocery shopping alone.
Then we got right down to it and I asked her, “Love, what if you took care of yourself and you were able to show up EVEN BETTER for your family and kids instead of always running off of fumes?”
She shook her head in tears saying, “I know, I should do that.”
We weren’t built to do motherhood alone, yet we are and its the most tragic thing of modern society especially to mothers and caretakers. But it doesn’t mean we don’t deserve care. Martyrdom has never served anyone.
Prioritize Your Care First
I don’t know who can relate to this, but I know especially as a young parent, this story can be so common. Caretakers of small children or those in very demanding jobs find themselves with no time to care for themselves and may be constantly living on edge, in a constant state of trying to catch up.
But what if life didn’t have to be this way? What if taking care of yourself became so vital in your mind that you knew you couldn’t live without it? Because maybe that’s what your explosive emotions are telling you… “I have so much I need and everyone else is coming before me.”
Or maybe even consider celebrate yourself even in the little moments!
Reframe your Thinking
As always, I want to end this with a way to help you. Let’s right now take a step back and get into a quick meditation to reset the mind, to retrain our brains to modify the belief that there isn’t room or space for us to take care of ourselves. I’m going to lead you through a visualization meditation right now, it’ll take about 5 minutes.
Mom self care meditation
You can be guided through this mom self care meditation via the video below starting at 9:12
Or you can follow these steps
1. Calm Your Breathing
Come to a comfortable position with your spine aligned to allow your energy systems and breath to reach all your organs. Laying down is always the easiest way to do this.
Begin to deepen your breath into your ribs and into your belly, in and out.
2. Notice Your Responsibilities
Notice: what makes you feel like you cannot take care of yourself?
Can you visualize that emotion, that responsibility with gentleness, not judgement
Now notice yourself taking a step back from that responsibility. You step into a gorgeous place and you see your responsibility ahead is ok.
3. Create Your Visual Sanctuary
You begin to notice the ground below you.
Is it a grass field or warm sand between your toes?
4. Imagine all your senses experiencing this space
What sounds do you hear?
Birds singing a song to you, trees blowing in the breeze, waves crashing or lapping on the shore
Notice, you’re ok.
4.Repeat this Mom Self-Care Quote
Repeat this mom self-care quote/Mantra
“I am worthy of care too”
Inhale: “I am worthy…”
Exhale: “…of self care too”
Repeat 5 times.
Notice more things in your surroundings, let your imagination guide you, dwell, play, stay
Stay here as long as you can, turn your device off and stay if you can. But when you’re ready:
5. Come Back
Take a step back into where your body is. Feel the ground beneath your feet. Notice the sounds in the space your body is in. Wiggle your fingers and toes, and when you’re ready, bat your eyes open.
How do you feel? Leave me a comment below, share this with someone who may need it today and know you can come back to this meditation and your beautiful place anytime you need some self care.
Wish you had a road map to your healing journey?
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